Measuring Up

Lately I feel like I have missed the mark. No one warns you, truly warns you what it means to be a mother and a wife - while being a good daughter and a strong leader at work. It's suddenly occurred to me why there are some who say women can't, you can't be the best mom and have a career where you are also at your best. 

I always resented the idea that I couldn't do that, of course I could. This is America, women are equal and I can do anything I want to do. Right? Well, with age comes wisdom. The feminist in me still believes that I can and should do anything my heart desires. That women should continue to fight to remain equal in this world of men. We've come far in many ways, and in others we must continue to fight. 

Wisdom has taught me one thing though, it's important to be honest with yourself. It's okay to want many things, pursue them and fight for the right to do this. I would encourage any child (especially female) to do just that, to never let anyone tell them they can't follow a dream, or many, no matter what they are. However, I have discovered that if I am honest with myself: I can't be the best mom, wife and daughter and the best, strong leader in my career at the same time. 

I try very hard to balance, home and work, but the truth is that I drop balls often. It is a juggling act that is anything but flawless. Lately, I feel as though I am falling short in every aspect of life. My house is dirty and dinners are short and very last minute. I have missed multiple deadlines at work and feel as though I am constantly playing catch-up. Then there are all the things that I know I should have done to keep things organized and be on top of things for mom that I have not done. 

I feel as thought I am in my suck zone and I can't get out. I try to remember to focus on my strengths, and just keep moving forward but sometimes that is so hard. I am starting to think that in life being a mom is like being a magician and hoping that no one discovers your bag of tricks and sees just how vulnerable you are.